After 13 years and 2 beautiful children together, Yale and I have parted our ways. Yale moved out last week.
Dear Diane/Tao Dan Yang,
Over the past couple of years, you knew everything about my family.You knew when my kids had their soccer tournaments, you knew when they had their swimming practices. You even knew their baby nicknames. On December 18th, 2009, on a noon flight, I took my children to the U.S. for Christmas vacation. On the very same day,December 18th, 2009, on an afternoon flight, you and Yale took off the beaches of Phuket and shopping streets of Bangkok for Christmas vacation. Diane, as a fellow woman, I often wondered if the level of ecstasy this vacation had brought you equates to the level of devastation this vacation had brought to my children and me. Diane, I often asked myself what was it like for you to sleep in the arms of another woman’s husband, other children’s father? I wondered if you ever thought about us, the children and the wife,that we are made of flesh and blood, that we have feelings, that we could get hurt, very hurt, devastatingly hurt. I pondered if you knew you were destroying a family, if you knew your joy would bring endless tears to us.
We went to Beijing last week for Chinese New Year. Your clothes were in our Beijing home. My son screamed:” Mommy, don’t touch those, they are disgusting! Set them on fire, burn them to hell.They are the devil’s cloth!” My children are hurt. My daughter, 9years old, now says “Mommy, I don’t ever want to get married.” My son, 8 years old, says “Diane is our Voldemort!” The psychological damage this affair has done to my children is catastrophic. They are forever emotionally damaged. With this, I announce you the winner.
How do I feel, Diane? This affair is like 10 thousand knives stabbing and chopping my heart all at once. This affair has left me in so much pain that I don’t know how to heal myself. This affair has taught me tear supply can actually be infinite. This affair has crushed me, leaving me a corpse walking around with no heart. Idon’t know how to deal with this kind of pain. I don’t know how to move on. But I have children. I must move on. Diane, I pray to God that you will never have to experience this kind of betrayal and hurt. I wish you and Yale a happy life together because, after all,we are all women and we all deserve to be happy.
With sincere regards,
亲爱的Dianer/Tao Dan Yang(应该是小三的名字)
在过去的几年里，你知道关于我家的每一件事。你知道我的孩子 什么时候足球比赛，你知道他们什么时候游泳，你甚至知道他们 的小名。2009年12月18号，我带着孩子乘坐中午的航班去美国过 圣诞节。在同一天，你和Yale就乘坐下午的航班去普吉岛和曼谷 购物过圣诞节。Diane同为女人，我常在想，这个假期帶給你的 是快乐而带给我和孩子的是痛苦。Diane,我常問自己，什么会像 你一样睡在一个有婦之夫的肩膀上，还是有几个孩子的父亲？我 想知道你曾经是否想过我们孤儿寡母，我们也有血有肉有感觉， 我们受到巨大的伤害。我仔细考虑，你是否知道你破坏了一个家 庭，你是否知道你的快乐建立在我们的痛苦之上。
上个礼拜我回北京过年，你的衣服在我们家，我儿子叫嚷着：“ 妈咪，不要碰这些令人厌恶的东西，把它们燒了，让它们下地域 。它们是魔鬼的衣服。”我的孩子被伤害，我9岁的女孩现在說 ：“妈咪，我不想嫁人了”我8岁的儿子說：“Diane是我们家的 祸害”这件事对我孩子心理上的破坏是灾难性的，他们的感情被 永远的破坏了。算你狠。
我的感受呢？那一刻就像万箭穿心。让我疼的不知該怎么办好， 泪水止不住的流，击垮了我，让我像行尸走肉一样，我不知道該 如何化解这种疼痛，我不知道要怎樣继续下去。但是我有孩子， 我必须继续生活。Diane 我祈求上帝，你不要有我这样的背叛和 伤害，我祝福你和Yale一起生活美满，因为毕竟我们都是女人， 我们都应当快乐。
Please do not bring the personal issues to the public. The truth of the facts is that our marriage had been falling apart 8 years ago,divorce had been in discussion 5 years ago. Our issues are known toall the people in the word! Diane had done nothing wrong for her part! I am firmly standing by and behind Diane. I will certainly hope she will marry me one day soon!
Trying to tell the people how evil I am and Diane is in this way is not going to succeed! All the people, who knows you, me and our marriage, supported my divorce, including my good friend Zhu Wei. I am sorry I have dragged everyone into this. Lily please move on!
老公’s letter interpret:
I understand that you are going through a difficult time in your personal life, and I sincerely hope that you will find a way to deal with it that is the best for you and your children.
I do understand how you feel. Ialso understand, however, that a marriage can only break apart from the inside. I do not appreciate your attempt to smear my reputation and paint me as the home wrecker. You know as well as Yale does that your marriage fell apart long before Yale and I even met. Whether or not I am in Yale’s life has nothing to do with the eventual outcome of your marriage. I am sure you understand this as well, but you nonetheless sought to burn me on the cross as the scapegoat for your failed marriage,which I do not believe is a mature thing to do.
Your description of thee motional damage your children have suffered is disturbing indeed. I can not help but wondering what you have been telling them. I would think that a mother’s first and foremost priority is top rotect her children from any emotional damage, rather than using them as bargaining chips with a spouse or as props to win public sympathy. Yale is the children’s father and will always be. I am sure he will always love them and be the best father he can be to them. Wouldn’t it make more sense, for the sake of the children’s well being, to emphasize to them that both their parents will always love them even though one parent will not be living with them all the time? I do not see what benefit there could possibly be to teach the children to hate their own father.
You asked me how it was like to sleep in Yale’s arms. I also wanted to ask you, Lily, why would you want to hang on to someone who clearly does not want to be with you at all? Lily, you are intelligent, highly-educated and you have a high-paying and well-respected job. So why did you spend so much time and energy trying to force someone who does not care about you to stay with you? As a fellow woman I want to ask you this, don’t you think you deserve better? If there’s anything that is worse than sleeping in the arms of another woman’s husband, it is sleeping in the arms of someone who resents you,can not stand you and wants to run away from you whenever he gets a chance. So Lily, why would you want to put yourself in that situation? Once again, don’t you think you deserve better?
I sincerely hope that the pain you are currently feeling will subside soon and you can turn a new leaf in your life. Please remember, you can lose a job, you can lose a spouse, but you should never lose yourself. And please, do not vent your negative feelings on your children. They are innocent. Please always keep in mind their best interests rather than your own. You deserve true happiness, and I hope that you will find it soon.